Somethings should be talked
by Manavie
Summary: AU...After Asylum Dean said there's nothing to talk about. But there are some things that should be talked...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own Winchester boys, Bobby Singer or Pastor Jim. They belong to ****Eric Kripke and CW Network. Only had a little bit of fun….**

**A/N : The story is set after asylum but it's an AU. Asylum had me spooked in many ways. The story just came into my head outta no where and I couldn't help but let my thoughts out. I am really nervous about this story so be kind and drop a review.**

**Very special thanks go to Chocolate Rules (Ann). **

**Happy Reading!**

Chapter 1

Dean didn't want to talk about it although how much Sam wanted to. Sam wanted to talk since Dean looked quite skeptical outside when he said he didn't mean the things he said. The ride to the motel had been silent. Sam tried to help Dean but he received a killer glare and was brushed off. Sam was desperate. He needed to talk to Dean. He wanted to explain every thing. But Dean's "Don't wanna talk" growl was the only thing Sam managed to get out. Sam was pulled into nightmares, where his gun had real bullets and Dean was killed in them. He woke up screaming. Dean would come and pat him awkwardly on the shoulder and went back to his sleep…At least that was what Sam thought. Sam decided not to go to sleep again but failed miserably. He didn't want to see Dean get killed by him even though they were just dreams and dreams are not supposed to come true.

……………………….

One day had passed after what happened in the asylum. Dean sighed at the thought. He took another sip of his beer. Dean looked at Sam who was sleeping restless tossing and turning lightly. Sam had been doing something with his laptop before he fell asleep. He had been up until God knows how long cuz when Dean woke up, Sam was asleep with the laptop opened on his lap. Dean closed the laptop and managed to coax a sleepy Sam onto a lying position and soon the younger boy was back to a restless sleep.

Dean didn't attempt to wake Sam up. Part of him wanted to but the other part wanted to let Sam go through the fears and that he deserved it. Dean softly touched his chest which was sore. He couldn't get good straight sleep past because of Sam's nightmares. Dean first tried not to care about Sam's nightmares but he couldn't. So every time Sam's screams woke him up, he would go to his little brother and pat him awkwardly after Sam gets his normal breathing, mouthing a 'go to sleep' Dean would head back to his bed. Slipped inside the covers and pretend to sleep. Dean felt bad and more than anything guilty when he sees Sam's pain and guilty looks. But Dean can't make up his mind just right now. His brother tried to kill him. It hurt him more than shot filled with rock salt…Dean angrily flicked to another TV channel he was watching with the sound low.

Dean's phone rang. Dean reached to the phone wondering who was calling him at 4.30 in the morning. It was Bobby Singer.

" Hey sponge Bob what's up?" Dean tried to lighten his own angry mood. There was a silent in the other end for a minute and Bobby's voice growled in.

" What did ya call me?"

" Sponge Bob"

" Are you high?"

"Nah little sore. Rock salt hurts like a bitch"

"Murphy and I want you two for a hunt. Can you make it here?"

"What?! Right now?"

" Sooner the better. Things are a bit hot here or else I want disturb you beauty sleep"

Dean sighed and rubbed his chest absentmindedly.

"You weren't disturbing. We'll come"

" Are you two boys ok?"

" Never better Bobby. We'll see ya soon"

" Ok…Take care."

Dean shut his phone and closed the TV. He grabbed his duffel and packed his clothes carelessly inside. Sam moaned in his sleep which caught Dean's attention back to the youngest Winchester. Sam was thrashing on the bed. Dean reached to Sam and shook him trying to wake up him. Sam's eyes snapped open. He looked at Dean frantically breathing fast. Dean's hand rested on his shoulder and as soon as his breathing was normal Dean went back to packing. " Dean?" Sam asked rubbing his sleep out of the eyes and sitting on the bed.

"Booby called. He asked us to come to his place. Said it's important." Dean said heading to the bathroom. Sam looked at him shock.

" But you are hurt Dean!"

"Thanks to you" Dean snapped and slammed the bathroom door. Sam winced at his brother's words. He gathered his stuff and packed them. Last thing he wants is to have Dean snap at him again. Dean came out of the bathroom and Sam went inside. No words were spoken between them. Sam showered quickly and came out. Dean had left his duffel and the guns and gone out with his. Sam sighed deeply wondering how to restore the balance back again. He locked the motel room and an angry, sleepy looking manager received the keys. They sat inside the car silently for few minutes before Dean started the Impala.

" Dean…" Sam was rudely cut off by Dean.

" I told ya …we are not gonna talk about this"

" But…"

" Am I talking in a language you can't understand?"

Sam huffed with frustration at Dean's behavior and looked outside the window. The ride had been silent for the both boys.

……………

They reached Bobby's place around the dinner time. Bobby came outside to greet the Winchesters. Bobby immediately recognized that there was something wrong between the boys. There weren't the usual brotherly banters which used to give Bobby headaches. Dean was pale and looked like shit . When he got out of the driver seat he headed to the trunk, grabbed his duffel and went inside not looking at Sam.

Sam sighed and got his own duffel out and slowly made his way to Bobby.

" Hey Bobby" Sam greeted the older man with a soft voice. Bobby nodded. Sam was just as crappy looking as his brother.

"Are you two ok?" Sam sighed again and looked at the Impala.

"Last hunt was awful, Dean's hurt"

" What? He didn't tell me!"

" You know Dean…" Yeah Bobby knew Dean. That stubborn kid would hide any injuries so they won't leave him out of hunts.

" You hurt?" Bobby asked. Sam shook his head. Bobby thought it was best to give them sometime. They would either tell him what's wrong when they are prepared for it or he's gonna get it out of them.

They entered the house and saw pastor Jim and Dean talking. Pastor Jim was talking and Dean was listening with a great interest . Pastor Jim's right arm was on a sling. He smiled at the youngest Winchester, when he walked in. Sam gave him a small smile.

"Sam how are you my boy?"

" Don't you think I'm suppose to ask that question?" Sam asked raising an eye brow motioning the sling.

" Oh this…It's battle scars from last hunt!" Pastor Jim said in his usual cheerful voice.

" When did you start hunting?" Sam asked sitting down on the couch next to Dean and stretched his legs.

"Old Bob there needed some help. Of all people he could think for help, he needed mine!"

" Yeah and I'm regretting it. I had to save his _old_ ass" Bobby growled heatedly. Both the boys hid their smile.

" What was it anyway?" Sam asked curiously.

"A wraith" Bobby and pastor Jim said together. Sam had a good feeling that he would have loved to see this paticular hunt. Sam stole a glance at Dean who was still avoiding him. He got up and reached for their duffels. Pastor Jim nodded at the younger boy. "You two get change. I'll tell you about the hunt at the dinner." Dean grinned. " Darn straight" he got up to his feet, ignored Sam and headed to their usual room. Sam was grateful that Dean didn't snatch the duffel from him. At least he could spare Dean some pain. Slowly Sam followed Dean into their room.

" Some thing is definitely wrong" Pastor Jim said looking at the two retreating backs of the boys.

" I told ya" Bobby said brushing his beard. " Sam said that last hunt was bad and Dean is hurt"

"there is something more. Sam looks downright guilty and Dean…that boy is an emotional roller coaster. I'll talk to Sam you talk to Dean and find out what's the problem is" pastor Jim said smiling at Bobby.  
" Oh God….Shoot me now." Bobby groaned at the coming conversation.

……………

" So basically this demon is like 300 years old. Feeds the victims on their fear and grief. Comes out for the show every 50 years and suck the life force of seven people for the next 50 years? " Dean asked with mouthful. " never knew you were this old pastor Jim."

" I'm not… Lucas Matthew had an account with the demon. One of his friends died in an unknown reason. That made him investigate."

" How?" Sam asked intrigued by the facts they heard.

" Some of the victims had been just traumatized first. No reaction for anything and were running high fevers. Some recovers but they can't recall any thing happen before. But all of them fell into a coma and died"

" did they all died at the same time?"

"No one by one. After one person died. But the unnatural thing deaths are caused by heart failures or blood was poisoned. One case actually said that they found water in the victim's lungs. Some of them seemed to get chocked, burnt or broke their necks. But some of them were in observation and they just can't die that way"

"How exactly this Matthew guy knew it was a demon?" Dean asked finally finishing his dinner.

" He didn't." pastor Jim simply said taking the dishes to the sink.

"Then how do you know he's saying the truth?" Dean asked helping to take clean up.

"Well he was my uncle for the beginners. He was a journalist and had the most interesting journal about his reports. He did murder sections and went for news about hidden secrets of the supernatural world. He didn't believe them but he did search for them."

"For curiosity and better articles" Sam nodded cleaning one of the plates.

" Exactly. I was really interested in his work"

"Or else we won't be here listening" Dean said. They headed to Bobby's library. Pastor Jim took an old leather covered book and gave it to Sam who immediately started flipping through it.

"When he started researching he had a similar case happened in West Virginia. 50 years ago. Same incident seven had died and then nothing… me and Bobby did further digging and found out there are more. The first one actually run backs about 350 years. A Red Indian tribe was attacked by the demon. They went hunting it in a group. The records just say that it was an evil spirit that taken hold of the human body. Some of the Red Indians had managed to escape the demon. They had the run with it on the seventh round. Demon found the easiest prey and fed the victim on his fear, suck the life force out and left. The victim had no doubt fallen into a coma and died.."

"But how did they know exactly it was fear?"

"The records had been written by the tribe Sherman who had also been attacked very first in the group that set out to find it. It hadn't had enough time to break the Sherman as others distracted it. Since the influence had been couple of minutes, the Sherman hadn't forgotten or either became unresponsive. It means that to come to the point of breaking it take some time for the demon to access the feelings out of the victim and then feed him back with the fear. Also it could be how easy the victim's barriers could be broken. The records says that the demon make the fears come out and it feels very much real. You feel the physical pain if it's something that can hurt you."

"How come the demon got out."

" It was powerful then. He only had a one victim to take. He had attacked them after they distracted him from the Sherman and selected the easiest. The demon escaped.."

" The host body?"

"No idea but in the later incident just after the attacks, there was a body of a person highly decomposed and by the identification found, he was around 70 years old."

" So it goes for a new host after it gets enough power for 50 years."

" Yes..."

" when this happened in your uncle's time didn't any hunters involved?"

"I checked on the victims name and one of them had been a hunter."

" Ok…What we know about the demon is, it kills 7 victims every 50 years ,jump into a new host. Feeds the victims on their fear and make them vulnerable. Then slowly suck the life force out them. Some victims get traumatized; some recover but can't remember what happened. But the final seven fell into a coma and die. So how are we gonna get him?" Sam asked pastor Jim hoping for a better news.

" We are gonna exorcism him"

" You sure about this. I mean a hunter died last time. How can this time it'll be different?" Dean asked wondering what they have for their defense.

" You have your brother"

Dean really looked at Sam that time. Sam looked at Dean and shrugged clearly confused at the statement.

" Only defense against the demon is not to given into fear. As long as you two have each other, you can face him"

" But how are we gonna get to him" Dean turned his gaze back to pastor Jim.

" It had changed his pattern this time. While I was with pastor Jim it had attacked already attacked two. After I came one of my friend's son was attacked too. He hadn't gone into a coma but he can't remember that much of the earlier incidents. I put some protection charms there but anyway another young woman was attacked yesterday. I set some protection charms there too so it may not be able to attack sooner. That's why I called you. I can't deal with it alone and Jim here is in no shape to help. It's best to go in a group that will distract the demon." Bobby explained.

"What do you suggest?" Dean asked

"I was thinking about going to Mark's house . All four of us. I guess the victims become traumatized by the attack. All that recovers meant that they weren't exposed to the demon for long. Which means it definitely tries to aim them alone. we can take the protection charms out. Once it's back to it's strong powerful self, It's more likely to come after the boy. Then we can exorcism him"

" what about other attacks? It could go for her and not come back to Mark."

" There's a possibility. But we have to take the risk."

" can't we just lure it to us or summon it?" Sam asked.

" Not that I know" pastor Jim replied. Sam looked at the journal again.

" I need to research more…We should know more about the case." Sam said. Pastor Jim nodded agreeing with the younger boy.

" Dean and I'll go and the look at Impala. I think it need to be seen." Bobby said clapping Dean on the back. Dean raised his eye brows. " It's _she _Bobby and I have taken good care of her" Dean said indignantly.

"Humor me…but _she _can do with some oil work" Bobby said. Dean looked briefly at Sam who was already glued to the journal. Sighing he followed Bobby out side.

As soon as the other two disappeared pastor Jim turned to Sam.

" Sam what happened in the previous hunt" Sam looked at pastor Jim from the book. He frowned slightly and sighed.

" You and Bobby planned this huh? That's why he dragged Dean out of here?"

" Don't tell Dean" pastor Jim winked. "so tell me what happened?"

. ……………

"I was hoping to wax my baby" Dean said looking at the Impala. Bobby didn't answer. Dean looked at him wondering what was wrong with Bobby.

" What happened in the last hunt?" Dean groaned in frustration. "Ok who set you up? Sam or Jim?"

" That doesn't matters"

"Hell it matters!"

" You two look shit. Sam looks down right guilty. You aren't looking at the kid even. Sam told me you were hurt. So better tell me what happened?"

Dean clenched his fists and unclenched them again. He is not in the mood for small talks and why the hell Bobby cares.

Dean never got to answer the questions something strong grabbed both the men and threw them against the old cars in the salvage yard. Bobby had a rough throw. Dean vaguely saw Bobby falling down limply when he was dragged upwards again. Dean groaned. He was loosing his consciousness when someone grinned at his face then backhanded him. Dean's last conscious thought was _'Sammy'_

**Please drop a review. I'd like to know what you thinking about it. Good or bad any comment is welcomed . Thanks for taking your time to read.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own Winchester boys, Bobby Singer or Pastor Jim. They belong to ****Eric Kripke and CW Network. Only had a little bit of fun….**

**Very special thanks go to Chocolate Rules (Ann). Her help in this story had been so much. I can't thank her enough. **

**Happy Reading!**

Chapter 2

Dean blinked owlishly. The light was so damn bright it was almost blinding. Dean groaned and rolled onto his stomach. His back was sore and he felt his nose bleeding. Dean gently touched his nose and was glad to find that it hadn't broken. Slowly, he rolled back and shielded his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he sat on the ground and looked around rubbing his forehead. A few feet across from him Bobby was lying on the ground. Dean crawled to him and saw that the older man was bleeding from a cut on his forehead. Dean tried waking him up but there was no reaction. He checked for a pulse and found it was slow but steady. Dean sighed with relief and tried to get up. His back ached but Dean didn't care less as thoughts of Sam came to his mind almost immediately.

Dean ignored his sore back. There are more things to consider than a sore back and the adrenaline rush was keeping him going on. He spared a look at Bobby and rushed inside the house. He ran inside the library only to find Pastor Jim sprawled on the floor. Dean knelt down beside him and tried to wake him up. Thankfully Pastor Jim woke up after few shakes. Dean didn't wait until Pastor Jim woke up completely to go search for Sam.

Dean searched every inch of the house like a mad man. The demon had Sammy. Dean wondered why it had left Bobby, Pastor Jim and him; directing his aim towards Sam. Then again, Sam seemed to attract every supernatural being to him. He searched every room frantically trying to find Sam until his remembered the basement.

The basement was lit with a dim dull light when he opened the door. He reached to the steps holding his breath. The Demon could be around. Dean didn't want to risk anything that would cause Sam trouble but since he wasn't left with much choice he climbed down the steps carefully, clutching his shotgun waiting for any attack. Some of the steps were creaking and Dean paused every time it creaked, continuing down awkwardly. The basement was gloomily and cold. Dean shivered. He looked around for any sign of his brother and when he did find him Dean froze gasping.

……………………………

Sam was curled into a tight ball on a corner of the basement floor. Dean couldn't believe his baby brother could do something like that with his long arms and legs. But Sam had done it. Dean was immediately by his brother's side; demon on the loose forgotten. Sam's eyes were blank and they were just staring ahead. There was sweat forming on his forehead.

"Sam… Sammy?" Dean called touching Sam's shoulder. Sam didn't react to his touch or his voice. Dean's brow was furrowed with concern. How long had he and Bobby being out? How long did Sam have to face the demon all alone? Dean knew what the demon they were handling. It fed on its victim's fear and grief or any other feeling that it took to crack them. Dean absentmindedly wondered what his little brother's greatest fear was as he was trying to uncurl the younger boy. He touched Sam's flushed tear strained cheeks and swore when he felt Sam burning up.

Dean automatically searched his brother's body for any sort of injury and was relieved to find none. Dean looked at his brother again. Sam's eyes were unfocused and glassy. His usually expressive brown eyes were dull and Dean shuddered at the way Sam was staring. He was pissed with himself for letting the demon get him and leaving Sam alone to deal with it. His baby brother was traumatized and it was his fault entirely. Dean clenched his fists angrily, cursing himself and putting aside his self loathing. Entirely forgetting the demon after seeing Sam's condition, Dean arranged Sam so that he could carry him out of the basement hoping with all his heart he could still save Sam.

"Not so fast" a cold voice replied making shivers running down Dean's spine. Dean swirled around, shotgun on his hand aiming at the intruder. He shielded Sam who was in no condition of reacting. Dean stared at a well built, tall man in his thirties. His eyes were pitch-black and for some reason it reminded Dean of the empty look Sam gave him. He shuddered at the thought.

"Stay where you are" Dean said trying not to let his voice shake. His mind was racing. He couldn't let the demon come closer to Sam and feed on his fears or have him face his own fears and become vulnerable. It would be both of their ends.

The demon, or more likely the host, laughed in an inhuman voice giving Dean shivers. "You can't hide your brother from me mortal"

"Try me" Dean growled wondering why the demon was so interested in his little brother. Why can't Sam have a break for a once. "Happily" Dean was thrown harshly away from his brother into the nearest wall. Dean slid down to the ground. He let out a cry of pain as his back was throbbing as much as his chest. Dean's breathing was shallow. It was hard to get so much needed air into his lungs because of the intense pain in his abused chest and battered body. Dean tried hard not to loose conscious. He can't risk to take a nap right now.

As if the demon had read his thoughts earlier it answered Dean looking at Sam greedily.

"I came for the old man. I remove all the obstacle that will be on my way but then I met your brother. His fears are so open and his growing guilt nourishing them. He was easy to break." Dean's eyes narrowed with confusion. _'His fears are so open!! His growing guilt nourishing them??' _Dean tried to process what the demon was saying. When the realization came it hit Dean as hard as a bucket of icy cold water. "Asylum" Dean muttered to himself. He mentally kicked himself again. If he hadn't been so angry with Sam and made sure Sam wouldn't beat himself with the new guilt, he had added to his pile, Sam wouldn't be this vulnerable to Demon. Dean's own guilt was overwhelming and threatened to consume him.

Demon looked at the younger man with his piercing eyes. This boy, as much as the younger brother, was consumed in his guilt making enough space for it to access the boy's hidden grief for his mother, his fears of letting down his family and that everyone would leave him. Demon smiled satisfied. These boys were going to be a feast for him.

Dean's thoughts were broken with the demon's chilled voice again. This time he heard them in his head.

"_**They are gonna leave you Dean…your brother already did once. He went away…he left you after all you had done for him. He will do it again…you know that. One day you will wake up and then he won't be there. Just like your father. He would leave you without even saying good bye…Your father left you too. Even if you find him again, he would leave you…they don't want you Dean. They never wanted you."**_

Dean tried to shake them off but it was hard. Dean fought grinding his teeth, not to let fear consume him. He can't risk it. Pastor Jim warned him not to let his fears out around the demon…He remembered dad's words not to let fear make you vulnerable and a liability in the hunt…He remembered Sam curled into a ball and looking empty. Sam…. his Sammy… Dean's purpose in life. He thought about Sam. He tried to focus all his thoughts on Sam. He had to protect Sammy…

Demon hissed angrily when Dean's thoughts slipped from his fears to his little brother. Demon could only sense love and willingness to sacrifice anything to protect the younger boy. Demon was angry when he tried to break the barriers Dean was pulling to hide his fears. This boy was harder to break than he had thought.

"_**He left you…the selfish brat left you because he wanted a normal life…he would do it again…you know that don't you?"**_

Before Dean could resist a small yes escaped him.

"_**You wake up every morning fearing he will disappear ….don't you"**_

"Yes" Dean tried harder to concentrate on Sam. _Sam's hurt…he is sick… Need to help him… _Dean got up to his feet with difficulty and made his way to his little brother.

"_**They don't need you. If they ever needed you, it was only for themselves. Your father wanted you to be a soldier. Nothing else…he didn't need you. He didn't love you…then he left you…no words…no news…Your brother…he hates you, Dean…when he gets fed up with you he's gonna leave you just like you feared"**_

"NO!" Dean screamed and shot at the demon trying not to fall onto his knees. He can't let his brother down. He can't….

"You can't kill me with rock salt" Demon hissed although it clearly gave him pain. Demon silently screamed, not wanting to give the boy satisfaction. He needed to break this stubborn boy who was back with his brother. Demon ignoring his pain, and tried a different tactic.

"_**You can't save your family Dean. Your mom died…were you able to safe her? You let down your mother Dean" **_

Dean remembered Mom. Her soft and rich laughter. The way she used to hug him and the warm feeling was lost now. He remembered that night far too well for a four year old boy. The grief was overwhelming and the small guilt that he could have saved his mom, the fact that he let her down, were building in stronger waves inside his mind. Dean forgot he wasn't four years old then. The only thing that came to his mind was he had let her down. Dean remembered the glimpse of Mom pinned onto the ceiling. He could feel the fire again. Then Dad gave Sammy to him. _Sammy!!! _Dean's thoughts shifted back to his baby brother. He had to get rid of the demon. Concentrate on Sammy…do the exorcism.

Demon was snapped out of the boy's mind again. Angrily he tried to invade his way back again through the slightly weak barriers of Dean's mind.

"_**Soon your father will die too. Who knows whether he's already dying taking his last breathe in the middle of nowhere. Bleeding heavily, trying hard to breath but waiting, still clinging on to the hope that you would come and rescue him. How can you do it Dean? You can't find your dad. You are failing him, letting him down."**_

The pain was so severe it was crippling him inside. It felt like sharp draggers were stabbing him from the inside. Dean cradled his head with his free hand and gripped the shotgun tightly in his other hand as the pain increased. He tried but all he could see was his dad in a pool of blood, breathing raggedly and rasping out his name.

Demon knew he succeeded when he heard he heard a small whimper out of the older boy as he fell onto his knees. Shotgun slid under his fingers and landed on the floor with a thud. Dean was reaching his breaking point. Demon pressed in more and more. The boy's defenses were slowly breaking. His thoughts had shifted from his brother to his decreased mother and to his imaginary dying father. The grief allowed more and more entrance to the boy's fears. Demon was starting to realize that Dean Winchester's devoted love was the one thing that kept the family glued together. Break the link, and the boy is all his to feast on.

It was hard and painful. Dean wanted to quit. He collapsed on the ground next to something….something warm. Dean reached unconsciously thinking it was his father. Dean felt him touching a soft silk hair that felt so familiar. He opened his eyes slowly which were squeezed shut with pain. It was Sam lying facing him staring at nothing. The light was turned on again in his darkness filled mind. Dean braced himself and muttered weakly "Christo"

Although it was weak, demon flinched slightly. But it recovered quickly.

"Weak words won't be any use," it said laughing at Dean's weak attempt. But Dean was determined. He needed to protect Sam. With a shaking voice, Latin words came out of Dean's mouth.

Demon's rage increased to a new level. It knew where the Latin words would lead it. Demon pulled the last straw and it broke all Dean's defense barriers.

"_**You think you can protect Sam don't you? You failed him more than anyone else. He's faded…far more worse than dead. You can't save him Dean…It's only a matter of time until he's dead…gone for good…you let him down. You weren't there when he needed you most. Go on look at him"**_

Dean's defenses broke. Latin words were forgotten. He crawled to Sam who was lifelessly looking at him. Dean cradled his little brother to his chest. Sam's hands hung limply…his stare was blank…Dean's eyes stung.

"_**Can you feel him…Can you see him in there?"**_

Dean shook his head. Unshed tears finally rolled out of his hazel green eyes. Dean softly touched Sam's cheek and his eyes widened. Sam was cold.

"_**He is cold…can you see him breathing? Can you feel his heart beat? Can you feel his pulses…He is dead…"**_

Dean frantically felt the pulse points. None…no pulse! Dean placed his hand wanting to feel the rhythmic thump against his fingers. No…nothing. Dean looked at his brother…no he is not breathing…Sam is really dead…Dean felt cold and empty. Letting an anguish cry Dean hugged Sam's limp body as he rocked back and forth.

………………..

**A huge 'Thanks' goes to 1Pagan3, lizard971, iluvsprntrl, sammygirl1963, 13thhourbells, I'mcalledZorro, PopGirl, SingleMinded, Deanlovr, JHNNangel13, Kimbles15, Lezlo3, Tammy K, eddy6401, lilja89, supernaturalrox, suzijacuzi, virezz and Colby's girl for all the support they have shown for this story. It meant a lot to me.**

**A/N: I had responses from lots of hurt Dean fans I guess bcuz I knocked him out in the end of the first chapter anyway. Considering both boys I love Dean more. No offense I love Sam too. More Dean bcuz of his big brother protectiveness. To see that I usual go for hurt and limp Sammy. For some reason I can't bear up to see Dean hurt although with some difficulty I read those fics too. **

**I'm so sorry if I disappointed all the people who wanted a seriously hurt Dean. But I really hope you'll stick around until the end. **

**Please have a little time to drop a review. Thanks again for reading :)**

**Hugs**

**Manavie.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Don't own Winchester boys, Bobby Singer or Pastor Jim. They belong to ****Eric Kripke and CW Network. Only had a little bit of fun….**

**Very special thanks go to Chocolate Rules (Ann). Her help in this story had been so much. I can't thank her enough. **

**Happy Reading!**

Chapter 3

Demon gave a victory laugh as it watched the older brother now broken clinging on to his very much alive brother and whispering comforting words to the younger boy. It was ready to suck the life force out of both boys when Pastor Jim reached it from behind armed with holy water and rock salt.

Pastor Jim threw the holy water at the demon trying to cloak his own fears. The demon screamed in agony and tried to leap onto Pastor Jim, who had started to recite the incantations. But since Pastor Jim was inside his protection circle, the demon couldn't reach him.

The voice inside Dean's head was gone. The fuzziness was slowly wearing off. His head became clear and little by little Dean regained his senses. He opened his eyes and much to his surprise he was hugging a limp Sam…more likely clinging to him. Dean gently laid Sam on the floor. Dean looked up to see what was causing the inhuman scream. He was sure he vaguely heard Latin words. When Dean's eyes met the demon and Pastor Jim, realization came to him. His gaze went back to Sam who was laying there, eyes closed. Dean checked the pulse and they were steady. Sam was heart beating and he was breathing. Dean let go of the breath he was holding. He had thought that Sam was dead. Dean shuddered and pushed the thoughts aside as he went to Pastor Jim's side, contributing his own steady voice for the exorcism. Demon was twitching and screaming. Together they finished the exorcism and bellowed 'Amen'. The demon was exorcised as sickening black cloud was shot out of the host mouth and he was lying sprawled on the floor dead. The body aged and it started to decompose.

"Aw…gross" Dean screwed his face up disgusted. He winced and let go of a shaky breathe that he had been holding during the exorcism . Pastor Jim looked at Dean panting slightly clapped him on the shoulder.

"You ok?" Pastor Jim nodded at Dean. Dean looked back at Sam and then at Pastor Jim.

"I am now" Dean muttered softly, demon's words were still haunting him.

"Sam?" They reached over to Sam.

"He had a full round with the son of a bitch. He was traumatized. When I came he was just staring at nothing. His eyes were damn empty and he didn't even recognize me" Dean said frustrated running a hand through his sweat soaked short hair. "He's burning up too" Dean added looking at Sam's flushed face.

Pastor Jim felt Dean's forehead which Dean tried to avoid but couldn't. "You are running a slight fever too" Dean ignored him and reached to Sam.

"Let's get out of here" Pastor Jim said. Dean gently pulled Sam over his shoulder. Groaning and wincing at the pain in his body. He staggered out of the basement with Sam's dead weight.

Pastor Jim called one of Bobby's friends who were a doctor in the town to come ever and check the injured hunters. Booby had a really bad concussion. The doctor checked on Dean's bruised chest and back that was sore from the flying he took. Dean was given painkillers for which Dean was really grateful. After the doctor left pastor Jim salted the remaining of the host's body and burned it gazing at the flames. ………………………………………………

When Pastor Jim entered the room Winchester boys stayed in, Dean was cleaning the sweat forming on Sam's forehead with a cold wash cloth. Sam was sleeping, his fever was still there. Pastor Jim softly placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean's tired eyes met Pastor Jim's eyes. Pastor Jim smiled at him encouragingly. Dean sighed and continued with his task, wiping Sam's face and neck.

" How are you?" pastor Jim asked knowing the injured young man sitting there waiting for his brother to wake up. Dean shrugged.

" Painkillers are a wonder" he commented dryly. Dean was thankful for them. The only reason he's up without the throbbing pain in his chest and shallow breathing is because of the painkillers.

"He will be ok. Once the effect of the attack wears off, his fever will too" Pastor Jim squeezed Dean's tense filled shoulders gently.

"It's not his fever I'm worried about. What if he never comes back?" Dean said, his voice slightly cracking.

"You can help him to come back but I don't think it's that worse. He couldn't have face the demon that long." Pastor Jim said kindly.

"He wasn't there…you know. When I saw him in the basement staring at nothing. It was scary. Sammy wasn't there his eyes had this dull and empty look…" Dean's voice trailed off. Pastor Jim's worry increased when he saw the haunted look of Dean's eyes.

"He was broken…so fucking broken and I didn't know whether I could fix it. I didn't know if I could bring him back." Dean's hands were shaking. He squeezed his eyes shut.

This was his fault entirely. Dean clenched his fits angrily.

Pastor Jim noticed Dean's behavior. His guilt filled features were easily read by the older man. Pastor Jim's heart went out for the younger man. The responsibility he was carrying on his shoulders since he was four years old but never complaining about. Pastor Jim loved the boys as his own son. He liked Dean's fierce protectiveness towards his family and his devotion. Sam's faith he kept in him and the belief that the world out there could be still good. Pastor Jim knew that if Sam didn't come back not only would he be lost but Dean would be too.

"It isn't your fault Dean"

"It is my damn fault he's like this"

"You saved his life"

"You saved our asses Pastor Jim. Unless you forgot, I was ready to feed the god damn sucker" Dean hissed angrily.

"I wasn't able to do it alone. You were there too. The demon was far too powerful and even in the exorcism it was channeling my fears. I wouldn't be able to do it if you haven't joined."

Dean shook his head. "No Pastor Jim…Sammy wouldn't be in this condition if I had talked about the asylum incident. I have been a fucking jackass. He wanted to talk and I ignored him. I should have listened to him and stopped his guilt trips. I have been a selfish jerk…only thinking about myself and pushing him away. Knowing Sam, I should have talked to him. He had gone through enough. Demon said his guilt was strong and let it into his fears. Dammit I made him vulnerable to the attack." Dean spat clutching his head.

Pastor Jim looked at Dean sympathetically. He thought of how to reach him differently.

"Stop beating yourself up, Dean. It won't do any good for either of you. You need to be strong. Sam needs you and you are no good to him like this."

"What if…" Dean looked at him so lost like the little boy Pastor Jim met after Sam was attacked by a shtriga.

"Sam is sleeping Dean. He's not in a coma" Pastor Jim said firmly realizing what Dean was getting to.

"But…"

"No…Dean. I have a good feeling. Sam is still there despite how traumatized you think he looked. He may need you to come back, so stop beating yourself up and help him" Pastor Jim said in a soft but demanding voice trying to inject his words in to Dean Winchester's thick skull.

"If you still wanted to blame this on someone, you can blame me." Dean looked at Pastor Jim's sad face.

"What?"

"I called you here. I shouldn't have done it after the asylum incident was so hot. I was blind enough to see that you two weren't ready for this."

"Whoa…hold your horses there old man. You didn't even know what happened in asylum. Not until after Sam told you. And what happened here was an accident. We didn't know it was gonna come here. You did what you had to do even with the plan. It involved not only me and Sam. Bobby and you were in it too. Beside we saved lots of people, that's what matters"

"And put both of you in trouble"

"Come on, you can't be serious…here you gave me a full frigging sermon about not going guilt trips and now you're doing it!" Dean looked at the older man. Pastor Jim was shaking his head. "Don't!" Dean said wondering how the whole conversation turned into a new one.

"Would you say the same if I told you the plan was to put one of you as bait?"

"This isn't the first time I was used as bait." Pastor Jim raised his eyebrows.

"So who was the bait again?" Dean asked brushing Sam's bangs out of his face.

"No one in particular. I don't know what Bobby's greatest fear is but I know yours and Sam's. But I was so convinced that as long as you two had each other, it was the best defense we all could have. As long as you know the other one is there alive with you, you won't totally give into your fears. Your bond is strong Dean, no matter what happened the last few days. I put my total faith on it and I know that whatever happened neither of you would face the demon alone. I was stupid not to consider every possible thing that could happen. My blind faith got you in trouble"

"But it did work. Once I was out of his hold and realized Sam was alive, I was pissed at the bastard and that was enough for me to get my exorcism ass on gear" Dean offered Pastor Jim a small smile.

"You said Sam is still there Pastor Jim and I'm gonna bring him back home if he's too far gone. So stop blaming yourself man"

"He doesn't hate you Dean" Pastor Jim said his eyes boring into Dean's.

"What? Is this make-Dean-feel-good day?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"Ellicott was just using his anger and frustration."

"I know," Dean said in a small voice.

"Do you?"

"It just hurt really badly. I was wondering why he was so angry and I wondered where I went wrong…what I did…"

"People get angry with their siblings. It's normal. Don't you?"

"Yeah I do get angry with him sometimes."

"Talk to him about this. Don't let that guilt grow more and you should rest too. You are half dead on your feet. " Dean nodded. Pastor Jim looked at the youngest Winchester still sleeping, squeezed Dean's shoulder and went outside.

………………………………..

Dean was woken up by Sam's moaning. He almost jumped out of the chair he had fallen asleep in. Dean winced at the sharp pain and gasped for air because of his sudden movement. He hissed at the pain. When he saw Sam, Dean sat down next to Sam on the bed, trying to wake up the younger boy who was thrashing widely on the bed, entangling the blankets that he were tucked in around him. Dean released Sam out of the blankets and tried to wake the disoriented boy, muttering unintelligibly. Dean felt Sam's forehead. He wasn't as warm as before which made Dean relieved.

"Sammy, wake up man. You are just having a nightmare." Dean shook Sam by the shoulders. Sam woke up with a start. He sat up so fast he almost threw Dean onto the floor. Dean regained his balance and tried to get Sam's attention on him. Sam fought him like a mad man when Dean tried to steady him.

"Sam, snap out of it. It's me… Dean" Dean said pinning Sam down to the bed to get Sam's unfocused eyes look at him. Sam looked at him and slowly Sam's struggles became less and his eyes met Dean's. His eyes were widening.

Dean's heart swelled with happiness when he saw the focused eyes of his little brother. They were not dull and empty as they had been at the farm house. There was confusion and sadness in them. Dean couldn't care less. He saw some emotion in Sam's eyes and it was good enough for him. He could comfort Sam…he knew how to do it unless Sam was far too gone for him to reach. "Hey Sammy" Dean softly said releasing his hold on Sam. He sat down on the bed looking at Sam's confused face.

Dean expected Sam to calm down but it was short lived. Sam's breathing became hitched and he tried to curl into a ball much to Dean's dismay. Dean reached out to Sam and tried to uncurl him. Dean was not gonna let Sam break again. But Sam wasn't any where helping. He was muttering "I'm sorry" like a mantra and tried to get away from Dean. But his big brother had something else in his mind. With difficulty Dean made his little brother look at him. He cupped Sam's face in his hands and forced him to look at him.

Sam's eyes were filled with grief .Tears rolled down from his eyes when they were locked with his big brother's concern filled eyes. "I'm so sorry Dean. I don't hate you" Sam whispered. He looked and sounded far younger than 22 which made Dean's big brother protectiveness kicked in more.

"I know" Dean said softly brushing Sam's tears with his thumb other hand still holding Sam's face.

"I killed you…" Sam said choking and Dean finally realized what Demon had made Sam see and feel to make him so traumatized. It made Sam think that he had killed Dean in asylum. Dean's heart sank. He cursed the demon for doing it and wished he could do more than just exorcism the son of a bitch. "I'm so sorry….please Dean don't hate me…I'm so sorry."

Dean shook his head sadly. "I can't hate you kiddo…not me." Dean grabbed Sam's hand and placed it on his chest. Letting his little brother feel his rhythmic heart beat although it was a little bit fast. "I'm not dead Sammy…you didn't kill me."

Sam's shaking fingers traced Dean's chest. Dean tried hard not to wince when they lightly touched his bruised places. Sam drew his hand away. "I shot you with rock salt….on the chest" Sam's voice trembled. Dean kept silent not wanting to interrupt. "I called you pathetic and…oh God" Sam covered his face with his hands and sobbed, shaking violently with each breath.

Dean didn't think for a minute. He slipped his arm under Sam and gently pulled him up and wrapped him in a hug biting the groan that was threatened to escape. His chest was on fire with the bruises but Dean couldn't care less. Not when his little brother so damn upset. Sam tensed slightly but it only lasted seconds before he returned the hug, clinging to Dean as if his life depended on it. The hug was so tight it was hard for Dean to breathe. He struggled not to wince and keep his breathing normal ...so that Sam wouldn't back away from him. His Sammy always came first. Even before him.

Sam's sobs continued and Dean's own tears rolled down too. He rested his cheek on Sam's brown hair, one arm stroking his long hair and other one rubbing soothing circles on Sam's back which was trembling against him. "I gotcha little brother…" Dean muttered to Sam's soft hair.

"You told me if I hate you that much…" Sam's voice hitched and another sob escaped.

"I don't hate you Dean…"

"Shhh…It's ok...you are ok…"

"I don't hate you" Sam desperately tried to make Dean understand.

"I know that. I'm the big bro. I know everything" Dean said trying to lighten the mood.

"Then you gave me the…." Sam voice trailed. Dean waited patiently holding his little brother tighter.

"You gave me the gun and God I shot you four times straight into the heart…I'm so sorry Dean…I killed you…I" Sam pulled himself away from the hug and swung his legs out of the bed. He almost fell down but Sam steadied himself holding the wall. Almost immediately Dean was at his side. "Gonna be sick" Sam muttered desperately and a minute later he was retching to garbage can Dean held.

Dean rubbed the soothing circles on Sam's back trying to comfort him. Once Sam was over Dean got him a cool glass of water and helped his shaking sibling back to the bed. Sam sat on the bed with hands on his head.

"I really thought I killed you" Dean sat next to him pat him on the knee.

"No Sammy…I'm alive, breathing and the ticker is ticking. You felt it Sam. You didn't shoot me" Dean said in a firm soft voice. _'At least not with real bullets.'_

Sam tried not to cry and to stop shaking but he couldn't. The nightmare was so real and fresh. It seemed to be glued in his mind. Sam saw Dean's blood everywhere. "I…" Sam started but Dean cut him off.

"You didn't kill me cuz I'm alive…bitch. It was just a dream." Sam leaned on to Dean and Dean wrapped his arms around the younger boy. He waited Sam's silent sobs to end and his breathing to be normal again. Slowly Sam's breathing matched Dean's and they were breathing together. Dean felt Sam becoming heavier in his arms.

Sam blinked few times. He was exhausted and sleepy. God he was drained both emotionally and physically. He hadn't killed Dean. His big brother was hugging him. Which was confusing him to the hell. Sam let him calm in Dean's comforts. But something was not right and he couldn't put his finger and find out what it was. Sam tried to remember what had happened but the memories were fuzzy. The last coherent memory of his was the talk he had with James Ellicott. He looked around and Sam was amazed to see that they were at Bobby's place. Sam pulled away from the hug and looked at Dean confused.

"Why are we here?" he asked words slightly slurring. Dean gave him a funny look.

"What do you remember?"

"The talk I had with Ellicott. Why aren't we at asylum? Did we finish the job? " He rubbed his sleepy eyes which were threatening to close

Dean was still looking at him in a funny way but why?

"We did. Burned the sucker and saved two kids. We are here to deal with a demon."

"Oh…How long?" Sam said hugging himself. He was cold and tired.

"That was about two days ago."

"Did we get the demon?"

"More likely the bastard had a drop on you kiddo"

"Why can't I remember?"

"You had a pretty bad concussion. Your head hurts?"

"'M cold" Sam muttered shivering slightly.

"Come on Sam…go to sleep. You look like shit."

"Same to you," Sam said snuggling inside the comforter. Dean tucked him in, after an awkward thought he bent down and planted a soft kiss on Sam's forehead. Sam held his breathe for a second but gave him a small smile dimples flashing. "Christo" Sam whispered, the comfort of the bed tugging him into sleep. Dean laughed and ruffled Sam's hair. He ran his hand through Sam's hair lulling the younger boy further into the sleep. Sam leaned onto the touch and after few minutes he was fast asleep.

Dean looked at his little brother sleeping peacefully. He was kind of relieved that Sam had forgotten the bad encounter. Dean wished he could do the same too. Forget it…think that it never happened and go on. But he couldn't. Dean stopped stroking Sam's hair earning a soft whimper from Sam. Dean smiled at his brother's antics and he felt better. Sam is there alive and not really gone , maybe a little confused. The fact Sam still needed him, he could still make things better for Sam made Dean feel much better. Dean knew tomorrow, when Sam was awake and coherent …there would be lots of questions. And if Sam eventually remembered what happened, Dean was more than willing to hear what he wanted to say. Hell they are gonna talk and end this for good. Some things should be talked before it will be too little too late. He wasn't going to let Sam fall apart again. It broke him as much as it did Sam. A chick flick could be endured as long as he got his pain in the ass geek brother whole and that was worth it.

**Well this had been my original end and I had this very nervous feeling that I had screwed up the end. While reading the reviews I was tempted (or more forced ) to do another chapter where Dean and Sam would really talk about asylum and Sam get to know what happened. I'm open for ideas…so please tell me how you feel about it. That update will take a bit time though. **

**A huge 'Thanks' goes to 1Pagan3 , sammygirl1963 ,Colby's girl, JHNNangel13, gothraven89 , SingleMinded , alwaysateen, Deanlovr, Kimbles15, Lezlo3, Tammy K, eddy6401, lilja89, supernaturalrox, suzijacuzi, virezz ,Ana21913, Brenny, Palo Alto , busigt-81 , callieannamaria, deejay83, sam0and0hannah and schaundar for all the support they have shown for this story. It meant a world to me. And thanks to all who are reading this!**

**A/N: I guess I can't bear up hurt Dean is bcuz of my big sis. Dean and my sis have lots of things in common. She's 4 years older than me; both Dean and my sis are selfless, protective and sarcastic. Those are the reasons I love Dean more. I would have given anything to have Dean as my big brother along with my sis. I just like hurt Sammy cuz Dean go all protective big bro mode which I love so much. **

**Great !! here I go rambling again. I really gotta stop this. **

**Love you all **

**Hugs**

**Manavie.**


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